I said I'd let you know if there were any 'further developments', and boy were there ever! I got a chance to really talk to Celeste, and I think I know what her deal is now. Did you know her first owner kept her on a shelf for a while? On a SHELF, with NOBODY to talk to, I would've gone completely loony toons! Either that, or I would've broken my neck trying to get down.
Me and Celeste kinda got off to a rough start though. I was watching Carlos from across the room. I'm not a stalker, honest. I was just trying to get up the nerve to talk to him. Anyway I must've zoned out or something 'cause the next thing I knew I heard a voice real close by saying, "He might notice you more quickly if you went over and said hello."
Have you ever watched the news around Halloween and seen some local news reporter going through a haunted house, trying to tell the people watching that they should come out there while monsters keep jumping out from doorways and around corners? I must've done a pretty good impression of the reporter when the zombie jumps out of the shadows at him. It always seems to be the guy reporters who get sent to the haunted house. I guess 'cause guys like to act all strong and tough, so it's more fun to see guys screaming and acting like scaredy cats.
Anyway, when I turned around and saw Celeste standing behind me I was really embarrassed. Celeste apologized for scaring the pants off me. She thought I knew she was there. But I was kinda ticked off by then and wasn't in the mood for an apology. "This a hobby of yours, sneaking up on people?" I asked. Celeste tried to apologize again. She said she was only trying to help. When she said that well, it's kinda hard to explain but I felt sort of...guilty. Why? I think it was 'cause Celeste was new here and barely knew anybody, but she was still going out of her way to try and help me. Maybe she could've done a better job of it but it's the thought that counts, right? Besides, this was the same doll my big brother had a crush on. I should at least TRY to be nice to her, for Orlando's sake if nothing else. "It's ok," I said. "I guess I could sort of use the help. It's just, whenever I see Carlos I get so nervous I don't know what to say."
"Have you tried talking to him?" Celeste asked. I kinda shook my head and told her I didn't want to sound like an idiot. Then she asked me how I knew what would happen if I never tried, or something like that. I kinda looked at her like she was crazy. Why? Well, whenever I thought about talking to Carlos I always tried to come up with a game plan, something to say that would impress him, make him notice me, in a good way. I couldn't just walk up to him, start talking, and hope for the best. But the more I thought about what Celeste said the more it made sense. All the planning in the world wouldn't do me any good if I never followed through.
"I guess you're right," I said. After a minute it hit me again how Celeste was going out of her way for somebody she didn't really know and I said, "Thanks Celeste, for caring and all that."
"You're welcome," Celeste said. Then there was this awkward silence. I wanted to keep talking to her, to try and find out what her deal was and if she liked my brother. But I didn't want to say anything about Orlando straight out, in case Celeste didn't know Orlando liked her. So I asked her how she liked it here so far.
"To be honest it's a little overwhelming," Celeste said. I agreed that things could get a little crazy, but I told her she'd get used to it. "I hope so," Celeste said. "I don't know how I'll ever remember everyone's names."
"Yeah, that part's tough," I said. "It's easier if you get to know a few dolls at a time and work your way out from there." Then I told her my name, and stuck out my hand for her to shake. Celeste shook my hand and said, "It's nice to meet you, Shade."
"So," I said, "you really think I've got a shot with Carlos?"
"You'll never know if you don't try," Celeste said. "It's not the things we do that we regret the most. It's the things we didn't do." Then Celeste got this look in her eyes, like her mind was somewhere else. She'd been getting that look a lot since she came here. "Celeste, you ok?" I asked. She told me she was fine but I wasn't so sure. "If you want to talk about it..." I said. I told her I knew it was tough sometimes, that Treesa was my second owner too. Anyway, Celeste took me up on the offer and started talking. She told me about her first owner, about living on a shelf, until she suddenly wasn't anymore. She told me how hard it was for her to talk to other dolls after she got taken off the shelf. She told me how worried she was that she would never make any friends, that she was 'already repeating her past mistakes'. By the time she was done talking she was actually shaking. I'd never seen Celeste like that before. She'd seemed so quiet and distant before, I hadn't realized there was so much going on on the inside. I didn't know what to do, so I did what felt right. I gave her a hug.
"Things will be better here," I promised. Then I told Celeste she could hang out with me and my friends. I think we've been a good influence on her. She's learning how to actually talk to other dolls, how to really be part of a group. I still don't know if she likes my brother, or if she knows he likes her. But now that Celeste is hanging out with me and Dandelion and Rampion at least they'll have the chance to sort of get to know each other.
But that wasn't the only 'development'. Thanks to Celeste's advice I finally worked up the nerve to talk to Carlos. Like Celeste said, it's not the things we do that we regret the most, it's the things we didn't do. And I didn't want to spend the rest of my plastic life wondering 'what if'. Besides, what better time to take the chance than Christmas? Why? Well it's supposed to be the season for miracles.
It was Christmas Eve. Treesa had already left for a party at her uncle's house. I'd made up my mind that tonight was the night. Tonight, I was going to talk to Carlos. I spotted him over by the bookcase. Before I could second guess myself I took a deep breath, walked over and said, "Merry Christmas Carlos."
He sort of smiled a little and said, "Merry Christmas, though technically it's Christmas Eve." Then he looked at me, right at me, for a few seconds and said, "It's Shade isn't it? You're Orlando's younger sister?"
I nodded. Even though I'd kinda hoped Carlos would think of me as something besides Orlando's little sister, I'd take what I could get. Carlos kinda tilted his head a little and said, "In that case, Merry Christmas Eve Shade."
"Thanks," I said. I wasn't sure what else to say, so I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Are you hoping for anything special for Christmas?" I asked. I kinda wished I HADN'T asked him as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Why? 'Cause it sounded too flirty. Some dolls can pull off flirting, but some dolls can't. The dolls that can't just come off as pushy or desperate.
Carlos didn't seem to mind my question though. He just looked kinda thoughtful and said, "I think I already have everything I need, more than I need really. I have an owner who knows I'm alive and takes my feelings into consideration, or at least tries to. Most dolls aren't as lucky as that. I also have friends who accept me for who I am. So no, there's nothing special I'm hoping for." Carlos looked right at me again and said, "What about you, did you ask Santa for anything?"
For a split second, I thought how much I wanted Carlos to be my boyfriend for Christmas. Then I got really embarrassed. My face would've turned beet red if I was human. "Not really," I said quickly. "I mean, I wished my brother and my friends'll get whatever they want for Christmas, but I don't think that counts." My confidence kinda fell apart after that and I said, "I should go. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas." I got out of there in a hurry. But as soon as I was out of Carlos' sight my embarrassed feelings started to go away and I started feeling really good about myself. I did it. I talked to Carlos. I couldn't wait to tell Celeste.
Well, I guess that's about it. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Holiday.
See Ya, Shade
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