Elsa's Story: Chapter 5 (Disney Frozen Birthday Party Elsa by Mattel)

(This post will be a continuation of the previous post. I will be picking up where I left off, so you may want to read Chapter 4 to avoid confusion.)

The next time that Merida wanted Christian and Sven to join her and Nora for a game, Christian immediately said yes. However, when he and Sven came back from their 'playdate' Christian was frowning. "Christian, what's wrong?" I asked. Christian looked up at me and said, "Elsa, I don't think I like playing with Merida."

"Can you tell me why?" I asked. There was no judgment in my voice. I didn't want Christian to think that he had said something wrong. I only wanted to understand why he felt the way he did. Christian struggled a little as he tried to put his feelings into words. "When me and Sven play, just us, nobody wins or loses," Christian said. "We just have fun. But when me and Sven played with Merida and Nora, Merida always had to win." Christian's face took on a sour look and he added, "And she said Elsie's dress was stupid." Sven snorted, as if to emphasize Christian's words.

I could easily understand why that last comment had upset Christian. Elsie had been one of his closest friends. Saying Elsie's dress was stupid was, in Christian's mind, like insulting not just the dress but also Elsie herself. And Christian has always been very loyal to anyone he cares about. That anyone includes both other dolls and a certain plastic baby reindeer.

It also sounded to me that Merida was very competitive, and I knew that Christian was not. From what he had told me about Elsie and Annie, and based on what I knew about the dolls here that Christian sometimes spent time with, I was willing to bet that Christian had never met anyone as focused on winning as Merida was. Poor Christian probably had no idea how to deal with someone like Merida. I certainly wouldn't have known what to do if I'd been in his place, which made things rather awkward when Christian asked me, "Elsa, what do I do if Merida wants me and Sven to play with her again?"

I reached down and touched Christian's shoulder as I tried to organize my thoughts. "Maybe you should talk to her," I said. "Maybe she doesn't know that games can be just as fun if nobody wins." Then, in a sudden flash of inspiration, I said, "Why don't you try teaching Merida some games where there is no winner. Maybe when she sees how much fun you can all have just playing together, she won't worry so much about winning."

Christian took my advice, and he did manage to talk Merida into trying some new games. Merida is still rather competitive, and she still seems to prefer games where there's a clear winner. But little by little she's learning to consider, not just what will make her happy, but what will make the other dolls playing with her happy. When Christian, Sven and I first met Merida, she decided who she was going to play with and what they were going to play without asking her potential playmates how they felt about it. I think Nora was just too shy to stand up to Merida, and Christian was worried at first about hurting Merida's feelings. But eventually Christian's patience ran out and he ended up telling Merida that she wasn't being fair.

Merida was a little hurt by Christian's words, which made Christian feel guilty. But in the long run Christian sharing how he really felt seemed to do some good. Now Merida will actually ask another doll to play with her, giving them the opportunity to say no if they want to. She will also suggest what games to play, letting the other players ok her choice instead of choosing for them.

I said in a previous post that having Merida in the house brought some challenges. But Merida wasn't the last challenge we faced that year. Around the time that Christian was finally starting to work things out with Merida and Nora, a new challenge dropped into our laps. Let's just say that my family has grown, and that there were some growing pains along the way. But that's a story for another day.

Love From Elsa