Rowena's Story: Continued (Children's Collector Series, Barbie As Sleeping Beauty)

I was gradually settling in, trying to find my place, when Treesa decided to change my name from Charity Violet to Rowena. She told me she thought Rowena was a better fit. I didn't understand, but I didn't question Treesa. Then one day Halle came by.

"Rowena," she called. I was still getting used to my new name, so I didn't realize right away that Halle was calling me. Then she said, "the doll formerly known as Charity Violet." I turned my head then and saw Halle standing behind me. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I guess I'm still getting used to Rowena."

"It's alright," Halle said. I sort of sighed and said, "I wish Treesa hadn't changed my name. I don't know why she did." Halle stared at me. "You don't know?" she said. She sounded surprised. I shook my head. "Do you?" I asked.

"Do me a favor," Halle said. "Tell Treesa you want to do a blog post. She'll set up her laptop and show you how to use it. When she leaves, go back to the main screen and click the box for Microsoft Word. Then open the file called 'Character Profiles'. It's all in there." I wondered why Halle wouldn't just tell me why Treesa changed my name, if she knew. But eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I did what Halle suggested.

When I opened 'Character Profiles', right near the top was the name Charity Violet. I kept reading and found out that 'Character Profiles' was exactly what the name suggested, a series of profiles, each with a different name at the top, each broken up into categories like 'Physical Appearance', 'Personality' and 'Background'. As I read the description for Charity Violet certain traits jumped out at me, phrases like 'somewhat wavey, golden blond hair' and 'eyes that appear blue at first glance, but are actually violet colored'. I was able to see glimpses of myself in this character, not a perfect mirror image, but close enough that I could see the resemblance. I realized then that Treesa had named me after the character, presumably a character she'd created for one of her writing projects.

Something else jumped out at me from the profile, something in the section marked 'Relationships'. Charity Violet was apparently the sister of 'Constance Daisy', and the wife of 'L'. I thought I had a pretty good idea who 'L' was supposed to be. And that's when I really understood why Treesa had changed my name. When she said in the store that I was 'perfect', she'd meant that I was the reflection of this character in her mind. Then, when she'd brought me home, I'd somehow failed to live up to her expectations. And I'd failed to make a good impression on Lawson. So Treesa changed my name to something that would be a 'better fit'.

I quickly scrolled through the character list, but I didn't see a listing for Rowena. I left the room in a daze and went to find Halle. "Why couldn't you just tell me why Treesa changed my name?" I asked when I found her.

"Would you have believed me?" Halle asked. I tried to think about the question, but my mind still felt dazed and fuzzy, like my head had been stuffed with cotton. "Humans don't get it," Halle continued. "They build you up, then knock you down again. That's why I don't trust them." I thought about asking Halle how Treesa had 'knocked her down', but from the tone of Halle's voice I thought the subject might be too painful.

I don't really know how to neatly wrap up this post. There's no real conclusion, and certainly no happily ever after. But then that's life. Movies and books may be able to end with a wedding, an evil vanquished, or some other celebration. But real life just keeps going. I've been reading the other dolls' posts, and I like what Lacey said about there not being any happy endings, because nothing ever ends. I guess that's a strange thing for a fairytale doll like me to say, but it gives me hope to know that things do change, that maybe someday I'll be able to define myself as something besides a Sleeping Beauty doll or a character in Treesa's mind. Maybe someday, I'll actually figure out how to be ME.

From The Thoughts Of, Rowena