I know I'm not the oldest doll in the collection, but I've been around long enough to learn a few things. The most important thing I've learned is that dolls who want to live happier lives, need to learn to go with the flow. Dolls' lives are unpredictable. Any doll can end up separated from their friends and family, sold or donated, put in storage, or paired up with another doll they can't stand. Our human owners decide a lot of things for us, so it's easy to build up grudges against humans. But dolls who spend their whole life carrying grudges around with them usually end up angry and bitter. I know it's not easy, but dolls live much happier lives if they try to make the best of things. At least, that's my experience.
It took me a while to figure this out. It didn't really sink in until after Treesa bought me. Before that I was just as guilty of holding grudges as anybody. My first owner was a little girl who, like most little kids, wasn't very good at picking up after herself. She'd usually leave me lying on the floor in the nude. Then she'd end up accidentally stepping on me. There were other things she'd do, little things I always blew out of proportion. At the time I took it all personally. Then one day the family had a yard sale, and she sold me to Treesa. Even though my life with my first owner didn't match my ideal, knowing she didn't want me anymore did a number on my self-esteem. I felt like I might as well have been thrown away.
My downer mood took a turn after Treesa brought me home and found me something to wear. She spent a lot of time trying to find just the right look for me.
It had been a while since a human had given me that much personal attention, so I thought I would be showered with attention from then on. I realize now my expectations were a tad unrealistic. Treesa wasn't a kid anymore, so she didn't play with her dolls. She considered herself a collector (a deboxer sure, but still a collector). This was also before us dolls started talking to Treesa, before she started trying to see things from our point of view.
Anyway, Treesa sort of ignored me for a while after that. I ended up getting sort of broody and depressed. Then one day I realized there were other dolls in the collection who weren't getting any more attention than I was, but they were still happy. I decided I needed to change my attitude. From then on, I was going to focus on all the good things about my life. I started making a mental list of all the things I had to be grateful for. So what if I didn't get to do photo shoots like some of Treesa's other dolls? At least I didn't get left on the floor anymore. That was definitely an improvement.
Now that Treesa is actually trying to figure out what us dolls want, things have gotten even better. But Treesa still has a habit of meddling with our lives. It's like she can't help herself. I still remember how she introduced me to my brother. One day I was minding my own business when Treesa came over and whisked me off to another part of the room. "Hey Joy," she said. "Sorry to bother you. I just want to compare your skin tone to Jasper's." It wasn't the strangest thing I'd ever heard come ou of Treesa's mouth. And I'll admit I was a little curious who Jasper was and what our skin tones had to do with anything.
Treesa set me down next to a male doll I assumed was Jasper. He definitely had a unique look going on. His skin was even paler than mine, and there was something really different about his eye color. Treesa studied us both and said, "Not quite a match, but still pretty close." Then she smiled, and I realized I was in trouble. I knew Treesa liked playing matchmaker, even though she'd never tried to match me up with anyone before.
Then Treesa said, "You two could be siblings!" Somehow, I managed not to roll my eyes. Treesa was just as notorious for pairing up siblings as she was for her matchmaking. Just ask her Build A Bear collection.
Treesa turned to me with a smirk and said, "I always said you looked like a vampire." It wasn't the first time she'd said something like that. It was one of her private jokes, like the one about Dandelion's parents being hippies. I don't exactly get it, but I think it has something to do with my pale skin, red lips, and red painted fingernails.
Treesa turned towards the door and said, "I've got to go. Joy, would you mind showing Jasper around? He's new. Thanks." Treesa left the room before I could answer. So there I was, expected to play tour guide to a doll she hadn't really bothered to introduce me to. I'll admit, even with my improved attitude, I was still annoyed. There's a difference between going with the flow, and getting walked over.
I was still staring at the door Treesa had left from when Jasper caught my attention by saying, "Sorry". I turned to him and smiled lightly, trying not to let him see how annoyed I was. After all, it wasn't his fault. "Don't be sorry," I said. "It's not your fault Treesa bailed on us."
"I meant about the vampire comment," Jasper said. I probably looked as confused as I felt. "Why would you be sorry about that?" I asked.
"I'm a vampire," Jasper said. "At least, my character is." This wasn't something I'd expected to hear. For a few seconds I just stood there blinking. "Oh, you're a character doll?" I finally said, since I didn't know what else to say.
"From the Twilight series," Jasper said with a nod. I wasn't sure where to go with the conversation after that, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I guess that explains your funny name," I said. Jasper looked puzzled. "My name?" he asked. I realized then just how rude I'd been. "It's just...kind of different is all," I said, hoping Jasper wouldn't be insulted. "I've never met a doll named Jasper before."
"It's the name I came with," Jasper said, still sounding puzzled. "Didn't you come with the name Joy?"
"No, Treesa named me that," I said. "Treesa couldn't i.d. me, but she thought I might be a holiday doll, because of my skin tone and coloring."
"Are you?" Jasper asked, sounding genuinely curious. I actually had to think about that. Finally I said, "To be honest I don't remember." I was really embarrassed now. I tried to brush it off by saying, "You know how it is once you're redressed and your kid starts playing with you."
Jasper didn't say anything for a while. Finally he said, "No, I don't. Treesa just took me out of my box a few minutes ago." Now I was even more embarrassed. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't realize...Treesa usually buys used dolls," I explained. Now that I was really looking, I noticed Jasper's clothes still looked crisp and neat. That should have been a giveaway.
It was an awkward first meeting, but as I showed Jasper around we slowly got more comfortable with each other. After about two months, we decided we wouldn't mind being brother and sister. If Treesa had been trying to play matchmaker we would have fought her. But they say you need to pick your battles, and me and Jasper agreed it was easier to just go along with what Treesa wanted.
Jasper turned out to be a great brother. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor, but I know I can count on him if things get tough. Lately though, I've noticed something a little...off about Jasper. I can't really explain it, but it's like he's...quieter than he used to be. I mean, Jasper's always been a little quiet, especially when he first meets someone. It takes time for Jasper to warm up to new dolls. We met Alice last week and Jasper barely said a word to her.
But like I said, this is different. It's like there's something going on he doesn't want to talk about, but he's still carrying it around with him. I've let him know he can talk to me about anything, anytime, if he wants to. But so far, whatever it is, he's keeping it to himself. I really hope he's ok.
From: Joy
To: The World
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