I've always felt like there was something missing in my life. At first, I thought the feeling would go away once I got taken out of my box. Then I thought it would go away once I made some friends and settled into my new life. But that feeling of something missing never completely went away. Don't get me wrong, Joy's a great sister. I really admire the way she can just take things as they come. And I know if I ever needed help, Joy would have my back. But I still felt like there was something else I needed in my life, something I had to find. Now I think I finally know what it is. I figured it out the day I met Alice.
It was a typical day. I was going for one of my long walks around the room. I like walking; it helps me think. I was just passing the bookcase when I heard Joy's voice, along with a second voice I didn't recognize. I was curious, so I decided to see what was going on. As I turned a corner I saw Joy and her new friend. I opened my mouth to say hello, but then the new doll turned and saw me, and I found myself absolutely speechless.
I think what captivated me about Alice was her uniqueness. Her hair is dark and cut short, which is unusual for a Barbie doll. Her skin is extremely pale and her eyes are a color you don't typically see. But there was more to it than simply being dazzled by a pretty face. The moment I saw Alice, I realized that the thing that had been missing in my life, the thing I'd been searching for, was love. Not the brother/sister love I feel for Joy, but romantic love.
Alice hadn't said a word to me, I didn't even know her name yet, but somehow she'd managed to completely change my life. I wanted to tell her that, to thank her for bringing things into focus for me. But I felt so overwhelmed all I could do was stare at her. Then I noticed that Alice was staring at me too, looking at me not with appreciation but with shock. That's when Joy turned and saw me. "That's my brother Jasper," Joy said. "Don't mind him. He doesn't talk much. Jasper, this is Alice."
"Hello Alice," I said quietly. I was still staring; I couldn't seem to take my eyes off her. Alice must have noticed, because she quickly left and I haven't seen much of her since. It's almost like she's avoiding me. I've tried to talk to her a few times that we've bumped into each other, but she seems so uncomfortable around me. So I've been giving her her space. Still, I keep hoping to see her, even if it's just across the room.
Not only does Alice seem uncomfortable around me, she also seems...guarded. It feels as if she's hiding something from me. And that got me thinking. Our skin tones and our eye colors are a very close match, maybe too close. I know I'm from the Twilight line because that's what it said on my box, but I don't know very much about the series. What if Alice is from the same line? What if our characters are meant to be brother and sister? Could that be the reason why Alice is so uncomfortable?
I know the only way I'm going to get any real answers is to talk to Alice. But she doesn't seem to be ready to talk to me, so I'll just have to wait. It's the waiting that's really taking a toll on me. I think Joy's noticed that there's something off about me lately, but I'm not quite ready to confide in her just yet. I do know that keeping my feelings bottled up inside isn't healthy; that's why I decided to write this post. This way I can get things off my chest without the embarrassment that would come from sharing my feelings with someone I know personally. I'll admit it's not a perfect solution. It's probably not a long-term solution either. But it will have to do for now.
Jasper
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